One day, after came back from clinic for vaccination, I finally broke down, as compared to other babies in the clinic, mine was so pathetically very small, even those born as premmie earlier was bigger! Was I wrong? Was my decision to fully BF eventually cause my baby to suffer? I cried, I couldn't sleep and felt again resentment towards my baby. One week after discharge from ward, the paediatrician, who was also lactation consultant thought that I had low milk supply. I was prescribed medicine and was asked to supplement with the breast milk pumped after each feeding 2 times a day. Frankly, I had no idea what was "each feeding", I fed continouosly! As adviced by my friend, I learned to pump one side while feeding another side.
Not easy initially, got milk leaking out from funnel when I was still not good in positioning. My wrist was in pain and my fingers was started to be stiff, but I still did that. I fed right side and pump left side for 15 mins, after one hour, I changed to left side and pump right side ( Yes, still feeding, very often these was repeated for next 1-2hours). One night, I prayed and promised that "no matter how, when mummy started working, even what I pump in a day enough for one feed only, I will still continue to give you the best." Hence, to ensure that I could keep my milk supply, I invested in electric dual pump, despite my husband doubt the worthiness of the purchase, "you better be sure you can BF for one year with that gadjet" that's what he said. So I continue the routine of feeding, pumping and supplemeting for another month. After she was 2 months plus then it started to have gap between feedings and she started to sleep for 3 hours stretch once during day time. Only then I dare to try bring her out for dinner. BF was a little bit easier then.
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