Postnatal blue...

After delivering HX, I have to say that this time is different compared to when I deliver HE 3 years ago

1. Emotion
I am more stable this time, probably I already know what to expect with a newborn and what I am supposed to do. Last time, I feel like my whole world is upside down, and changes was so drastic to me that I feel hard to keep up. Now, the challenge I need to overcome is how to cope with a newborn and a toddler, other than that, they are all within my expectation. Hence, life wise, I am pretty coping well.

2. Physical condition
This is the one out of my expectation. When I delivered HE, I don't need pain medicine at all. I can walk well with energy within 12 hours of delivery. However, this time round, I really walk like a gentle Japanese women in her kimono or an ancient chinese women with 3 inch foot. If I stand longer, I can start to feel shaky leg. Really weak! I also can't really sit for long without feeling ache at my back. Is it the side effect of epidural? or its simply because my stamina drop badly after 3 years. I can also feel heaviness at the tummy area which make my movement even slower.
while on pitocin drip, I don't feel pain at my tummy area, so I thought I should be able to cope without the need of analgesic. However, on the next day, I started to feel the uterine contraction. 3 years ago, I only feel it whenever I breastfeed HE, but now, I feel the pain regularly, the pain is so intense that I am feeling I am almost back to the labour room! The pain continue for the next 3 days. I frown and almost want to curl my body whenever the uterine contraction come. According to 'What to expect when you are expecting' the pain is greater when there was previous birth or the uterine muscle is overstretched. I think both explain when I suffer the pain so badly. The pain is relieved a bit better when I have an indon to 'urut' me. There seem to have another traditional believe that the pain is due to the blood clots inside the uterus. It seem quite true, after 'urut', more blood clots are seen on my pad. There is one day, I am so frightened to see a big blood clot on day 7 postdelivery, after I feel heaviness and pain at my lower tummy area again.
Apart from that, I also experience backache and headache. the ache at my left waist area woould emerge whenever the uterine contractions and pain start. But I think massage really help, after first session, the pains were less, I walk better, sit better and physically more capable.

3. Breastfeeding
see my next post.

Frakly speaking, there are many antenatal classes teaching which normally cover baby care, pregnancy, labour and breastfeeding but many don't touch on what to expect on the changes on new mother physically and emotionally and how to cope with it. At least certain confinement myths may be discussed and what could be wrong on moms body if certain things happen. I think many moms including myself would have stopped reading further once reach labour chapter and continue reading on babycare instead. Only now, when I feel more weak and much painful uterine contractions then I flip to the chapter on postpartum to understand why, just in case anything goes wrong. Sigh...we women is really betting our lifes on our children.