Lighting at new house

I am not sure why its is so difficult for me to figure out the lighting coordination for my new house. I have been planning it out for nearly a month, yet still couldn't find a perfect solution for it.
While the whole area should be illuminated enough, I wish the to have different control for number of downlights for a different ambiance :
1. lighting when watching TV,
2.lighting when need to read newspaper...
3.lighting when kids is playing at the area near staircase...,
4. Lighting when guess come..(this is easiest, basically on all lights)
while also considering its impact on electrical bill later on. I have used power points, draw on the floor plan the likelihood of the lights coordination... but still I am not quite satisfied. Just when I feel its good enough, then 2-3 days later I doubt again and wanting to find alternative. Worst is after I mention to the electrician the light plan (which I thought good enough), I will go back home and think again, wondering what if....
I think the contractors is quite frus with me, keeping asking to change this and that, can't really fix my mind. Even the light shop where I bought also, I think...as I have already change lights for 2 times. and likely changing for 3rd time:P
I got to tell myself that nothing is perfect...nothing is perfect...just live with it.. arg!!!