HE has become a tantrum thrower. She cry frequently and always do the opposite to what we ask her to. She also demands lots of things to be her own way. One the most frequent thing that she ask for is doughnuts. Everyday she ask to buy daughnuts, from morning till night. Then she is showing...I can't say its jeolousy as she is nice to her sister but she seem feeling insecure. She ask me to carry her once we arrive home, if I refuse, which I need to as HX can't walk and need to be carried, she keeps sobbing and even throw herself to the floor once we arrive at the doorstep.
Everyday, everyday she is whining and crying. She is no longer the happy girl that I adore. My angry button seems to be always on the standby mode, with a sensitive touch switch. I really lose my cool with her and even to the point of just want to release my wrath towards HE with some silly action. I can get so angry that I started to pick on her. Like today, after brushing her teeth, I pass her the cup to rinse her mouth and remind her not to drink it. However, she drink it and laugh. I got angry, ok, you like to drink, finish the whole cup! holding the cup to her mouth. She laugh and this bring my angry to higher level and I throw the water to her. She cried. As I see the floor was flooded with her stuffs, colour pensils, puzzles...I threatend to throw into rubbish bin. I did go the bin and throw something ( not her stuff though) but she thought I did and cry till screaming. I don't know what gets into me, I dun attempt to comfort, instead I keep pick her wrongs, just to release my wrath. Of course, what I did only make the situation worse and I ended feeling more guilty and frustrated.
I pray that I can be more calm. A reference say we as parent also is learning and try to manage our own temper tantrum.
'Having children forces adults to take stock of their own emotion maturity', that's right. I begin to understand why some parents are able to torture their own children as seen from the recent sad news in newspaper. Some of them probably had lost the temper too and did something regretful.
I really need to deal with my temper, very hard, very hard. God help me.
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